Wat I've learned

At the conference, there was a plenary on "40 years of being a psychotherapist: wat have I learned & wat am I still doing here?". I got so much good stuff out of that.

In the space of yesterday, I had a moment to jot down what I've learned from being a psychotherapist in full time private practice in the last 5 years. I'll share the good ones here and my hope is to re-visit this every few years.

• I've never had a better job. This work rips my guts out, thrills me, terrifies me, feeds me, angers me, and blesses me.
• If you just show up and pay attention, people think you're a good therapist.
• I have never worked harder or risked so much than in this work.
• The laughter of my clients is the balm that heals me.
• Clients don't like talking to answering machines or secretaries.
• When you make a mistake, own it.
• Many insurance companies do not support preventative mental health maintenance.
• Sometimes, accepting credit cards to guarantee payment is better than no payment.
• When you have a strong reaction, own it.
• As the Buddha says, "Be kind to every one you meet for we are all fighting big battles."
• I am not a fan of insurance paperwork or diagnostic labels.
• Sometimes we outgrow our therapists, mentors, and supervision groups.
• Where I used to fear no-shows, now I see them as blessings.
• When I am tired, I focus more on content with clients rather than feelings.
• I can sit in silence a great deal longer now and prefer to be by myself most of the time.
• In the words of Shelly Kopp, "If you miss something the first time around, don't worry: it comes back. It comes back again and again until the work is done.
• Clients die.
• When I am tired or stressed, I goof up my schedule.
• Clients that are charming or overly complementary make me nervous.
• Words will always fail me when I sit with someone who has lost a child, a spouse, a loved one unexpectedly.
• My clients are my greatest teachers.
• It's okay to cry in session.
• Sometimes the risk of change is too costly.
• I have worked for free and paid it forward much more than I'd care to admit.
• The only life I can save is my own.
• Losing fifty pounds has changed the way I work as a psychotherapist.