Saturday, June 19, 2010

welcome to the home of le mutants

Slowly, I'm feeling back to normal. Thank y'all a bajillion times over for the understanding. I think my quietness has more to do with me than anything.
On attending summer workshop 50 lbs lighter:
  • I got a LOT of wonderful compliments, everything from "something's different about you" to "OMG, you've lost an entire person".
  • Hands down, the best part of the entire trip..and there were many, was taking the kayak out with 3 other people. Two years ago when I did that, I struggled like mad b/c it's hard for a 250 lb girl to move across the water. I'd go in a circle b/c I had no upper body strength and lag behind the group. This year, I got right out on the kayak, had enough upper body strength to stay out in front of the other ppl I was with and offer prayers of thanksgiving to God that I'm healthier this time around.
  • I managed to dance through the entire dance and not have to take breaks and not have to make sure I didn't make eye contact with anyone. I managed to dance close to men AND women which is a big deal for me. No hurt feet, knees, or out-of-breathness for me.
On processing at summer workshop 50 lbs lighter:
  • You know that moment when you're about to get a bad sunburn and your skin feels tender and you hopefully know enough to get out of the sun? Well that's how I felt a LOT while I was at AAP. I was in a 3 day process group. See below what I ganked from wikipedia:

An encounter group is a form of group psychotherapy that emerged with the popularization of humanistic psychology in the 1960s. The work of Carl Rogers (founding father of Person-centered psychotherapy) is central to this move away from psycho-analytical groups toward the humanistic encounter group.

Such groups (also called "T" (training) groups and "sensitivity training" groups) explored new models of interpersonal communication and the intensification of psychological experience.
  • Anyhoo, without spilling too much of my guts on le internet, when I sat in these groups before, I'd have my own internal process, thinking things, sadly like, "I need to prove myself so I have worth beyond being the fattest girl in here. I need to be funny so people will think I'm present. I need to be seen, I need to be seen, I belong here!".
  • All of the above stuff was gone this time around. Perhaps it's because it was my 4th summer workshop and I don't give a fuk anymore what people think about me (most of the time) but I felt no need to prove myself within the group. And because my internal process was so quiet, I was able to be present for the other work in the room. Which meant that I cried most of the time, quietly, out of relief and out of what others were working on.
  • All this meant that I craved quiet time and took it to regroup and journal and take care of myself. It helped and I was much better for it.
On the topic of mutants:
  • Yesterday, SuperC and I spent 2 hours at the vet with JiJi toontzes! We noticed that she kept scratching the left side of her face and on Thursday night, it was raw and angry looking.
  • Since our vet is awesome, he was booked so we took her up to see him as a walk in and since we had to wait, the staff was kind enough to give us 1/2 off the vet visit. But more importantly, we learned this:
  • JiJi kitty has Eosinophilic Ganuloma Complex. See below again from wikipedia:

Eosinophilic granuloma is a form of Langerhans cell histiocytosis.

It is a condition of both human and veterinary pathology.

Feline eosinophilic granuloma complex is synonymous with feline eosinophilic skin diseases. This is considered to be a cutaneous reaction pattern that can be the manifestation of a number of underlying infections, allergies or ectoparasite infestations. It can also be idiopathic, that is have no discoverable underlying trigger. The eosinophilic reaction is common in feline inflammatory disease and the eosinophilic granuloma can be a hereditary reaction pattern in some lines of domestic cats.

  • Essentially, wonderkitty JiJi is prolly very allergic to fleas. So Dr. Blaes had to give her a shot of a steroid and we are supposed to make sure she has no boo boo's in 3 weeks or Dr. Blaes has to give her another shot. It also means that we have to treat her with Advantage flea meds every 3 weeks, clean the shit out of the house to kill fleas and check her regularly b/c it can only go into remission.
  • So we brought her home, after the trying trip to the vet and she proceeded to bitch at BayBay kitty and hiss at her even though she was the lil PrissPot we took to the vet.
  • SuperC and I played backgammon and watched the World Cup and had just finished our 4th game when the above picture occurred. And she stayed there all night, tired little princess:
  • until I scooped her up and carried her to bed. This morning, she's flittering and running and playing and seems to be feeling better.
  • that's what I got for now, off to teach h20 aerobix and make cheese fudge w/ grammy.
  • Fru-mutantqueen-out


knittinwolf said...

Poor kitty....hugs

glittersmama said...

Hooray for self-confidence and feeling awesome with who you are. I'm glad that your conference was good for you.

KnitNurd said...

Our yard tiger won't let us put our suitcase from our trip last week away. They seem to love laying in any kind of a 'case'. He will even curl up on Scooter's briefcase sometimes. I'm glad your princess is getting help for her condition!

The workshop sounds like it was a very cleansing experience for you! I have been learning to stay 'present' in my life as well after reading and studying with Eckhart Tolle...good stuffz!!! I still refer back to his book, A New Earth - Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. It took me a while to "get it", but some amazing thoughts to think about!

wooliegirl said...

Hugs and prayers for JiJi to recuperate and feel better
...and what is cheese fudge?

Lisa said...

I love your internal process and your willingness to share it with us! Also, go you for being so vulnerable...I don't know if I could do it!! Glad to hear Jiji is on the mend...sure is a cute kitty!! We need to do lunch again asap!