Yesterday was a rough day. I awoke to the mews of BayBay kitty. Yet again, I was sleeping too much and cutting into her snuggle time with her Vera Bradley Peacock laptop bag and her quilt. I was tired but got up. Unfortunately, I was unable to shake that tiredness for the remainder of the day.
I visited with JMK since he was returning to GA today. Again, feeling hella-tired. And grouchy. And like I didn't want to do anything but share my space with BayBay and go back to sleep.
Desperate for some relief, I went out to the back deck and laid down in the sun for 30 minutes. I wasn't cured instantly but I felt a lot better. So what's that about?
Lots of people respond well to sunlight. There are studies about how exposure to sunlight in the morning can shorten the time someone is hospitalized for behavioral health issues. I have often thought about buying a phototherapy box, which simulates sunlight and is a good tool for people that have Seasonal Affective Disorder.
I think yesterday was just a bummed kinda day for me. While I am so very blessed, there are a lot of unknowns on the horizon. Do I have Cushing's Disease and if I do, what does that mean and how long before I have surgery to fix it, and what will that mean for my travel plans over the summer, and how will it effect my practice? If I don't have Cushing's, I have to give myself the mother of all peptalks and keep on keepin' on with specific diet, water aerobics four times a week, etc. How do I support my family, my brother's frustration with his job and his history of having a short fuse and shooting himself in the foot? How do I support my Mom and Dad while they sit with Gram and figure out what things need to be sold and what things get moved to Columbia? And then I begin to grieve the loss of Hilton Head and my sanctuary. How will my Papa do with this treatments and will his breathing get better? <-- very much what was happening in my head yesterday!
Today I am better. Still a little low energy but I am looking forward to the day.
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Even though we have still to officially meet yet, I feel bonded by you. Like you I take on all the burdens of my family as well and suffer with the pains and owes of it and wonder and ponder day in and day it. I'm good hiding it though, sometimes not so much a good thing. Bc I like to make others happy. Whether it's a simple note and taking them out and spoiling them rotten. I may not havea lot but I live like I'm the wealthiest of the rich their can be. Stay strong and do good...
btw way on your weight loss bit, if you turn out not having cushings(i pray you dont) have you ever consider takinga weight loss pill... I for one am taking Alli. I have been since it came out last june. since then I'm losing slowly but healthy and have lost a total of 45lbs... let me know what you think
always, Tasha
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