I could have just as well titled this entry, "In which gentleness goes out the window, and Fru becomes very mean and hateful towards her body".
In joining Namaste Knitters on ravelry, I learned about a great site called yoga today, that streams hour long classes daily. So earlier this morning, I decided to try to do the yoga session entitled yoga for lower backs and hips that was marked for a beginner. It's gently raining outside and my yoga mat is in the car so I was using a beach towel. And I did half of it, but then somewhere in there, the MeaniePants showed up. And she said things like, "Goddamn, what did you do to yourself?! We used to be able to do upward facing dog in our sleep?!". Even though the word that I based my intentions on for this practice was "gentle", MissMeaniePants wasn't having it. I tried and succeeded in going from downward facing dog to upward facing dog a few times, and my mind and body were fighting and I went into child's pose and began to cry. I was soaking wet with sweat, breathing hard, and disheartened.
Enter Betterhalf, who says, upon seeing me balled up on the floor, "What's wrong with you? Are you supposed to be doing that?". And I get up, embarrassed and pouty, shuffle to the fridge, and grab my bottle of water, and Ms. MeaniePants follows me back to the bedroom in front of Betterhalf. So I'm laying on the bed, wimpering quietly, getting ready to really hand myself a new asshole courtesy of MMP (Ms. MeaniePants) and Betterhalf says to me (God, I LOVE this man), "Fru, honey..how long has it been since you've done yoga?" And I say, "8 years". He says, "So it's been 8 years and it takes time. You just started". And I say, "I know but then I get all mean on myself and say things about having a fatazz and everything". And he just looks at me lovingly and then says, "Do you want tough love now?" To which I answered, "No".
Then I took a couple of deep breaths, told MMP to get lost, and resumed my day.