Michal and I made it up to Roanoke, West Virginia on Wednesday in about 7.5 hours. The ride was lovely, and the weather is amazing. On the way up, we stopped at New River State Park, ate lunch and walked around. It was just great to be outdoors.
The Resort here is lovely. Sadly enough, we learned that to make this place and this lake, they had to bury the town of Roanoke when they decided to dam the river. So yesterday, when I attempted kayaking, it felt sacred to me. Very similar to what the had to do with Lake Murray in Columbia.
So my experience so far has been a challenge. Unless you are in therapy, I am unsure if I can communicate with this place is like but I will try. Picture someone or someones who were so dear to you that you shared the deepest, most special secrets with...the things you were proud of, terrifed of, excited about...well that's the American Academy of Psychotherapists for me. AAP people know me, they get me and they don't judge me for that. Last year was my first year and it just rocked the hell out of my world. I was so looking forward to reconnected with my "peeps" this year but learned upon arrival that my safety crew, the people who anchored me when I was doing my own therapy and working on my own shit were no where to be found. That's right...the people that I loved and did work with are not here this year. So for the first few days, I've found myself feeling alone, isolated, and desperately wanting to make a connection.
I've made some connections but I've yet to join a group. When there are not trainings going on, people will group up for Family Groups...leaderless groups where individuals can do some of their own work in a safe place. These groups are the lifeblood of the academy and I'm not in one. I was in one last year but it has dissolved. So for much of this trip, I've been feeling very vulnerable. But I am surviving..situations like these challenge me and make me grow as a therapist.
Thus far, I've gone kayaking, which was awesome and frustrating, I've gotten a facial and a massage. I've bid on a white alabaster heart necklace that another member made that is just so dear to me. Tasha, it reminds me of your heart tattoos. It's white with a crack that looks like it may have healed. Very symbolic of me and my adventures in my 31 years thus far.
So that's it for me. Thank goodness that I am taking monday off so that I can process and make some phone calls. I've gotten some names of some good therapists to call and possibly begin working with so that I can continue my growth.