Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Oh, for fuck's sake!


I wish I could be flitting around, wishing happy Hump Day to all but I'm not. There is a storm cloud in my kitchen, over my head as I type this.

For reasons I cannot get into, I've spent the majority of my morning on the phone consulting in the area of legal stuff and just wishing I were a botantist, or code monkey today. I don't want to deal with people and their exceptionalness. I don't want to fix any problems. I want to be alone with my kitty divas, my knitting, BoyFru, and a lot of water thank you very much. Gone were my plans of working on my knitted bag so I could get help on it tomorrow. Gone were my plans for watching Heroes. Here are my fears about the future and unknowns. Here are my angers about having to possibly be medicated to be a psychotherapist for the rest of my life. Here is my stomach ache and annoyance that I forgot to reorder my disposable contact lenses in a timely manner. Here, yet again, is my pissed-offed-ness about there never being enough time for ME becasue I've chosen a field that sez, "Fuck you, Wendy, and your time off..you need to deal with this case NOW or else".

Grrrrr....grrr..fuckin'..grrr! It's hard enough being me some days...but being me unmedicated..is looking damn near impossible.

1 comment:

Tashahart said...

i would love to say chin up young person, but i know thats not the case. Know that, that I love you like a sister and I'm always here if you need to vent... I wish I had better words on encouragement, if it helps I'm having a hard time kicking the painkiller habit...