Chicken or egg?

Which do you think came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a good question. A similar question I'm pondering this morning is which came first for me: metabolic syndrome or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome? Depending on who you ask, you may find that they are commonly referred to as the same in some medical circles. I got very educated about this yesterday.

Doesn't matter what the diagnosis is..where I'm really feeling this is in the side effects that both of these conditions produce: depression. Metabolic Syndrome and PCOS cause depression. Hypothyroidism causes depression. Maybe I'll get a prize for triple-whammy depression? That would be cool?

So I'm struggling today. Some days I'm fine, some days I'm happy but today I'm tired and I don't want to work. I don't want to be vulnerable to the six people coming to see me today. I want to be curled up with my quilt that my Aunt Lori gave me, kitties around me and sleeping. I slept 9 hours last night and I still was pissed when I got up this morning. Don't know if that's depression or sleep apnea, since I'm snoring like a Mo'Fo' these days.

Things will get better. I'll see the "hormone doc" in the beginning of April and hopefully I'll get clarification on other treatment options. If that fails, I'll suck it up and go have a sleep study done, all the while continuing to exercise and follow my current plan of eating. I'm getting some compliments on weight loss and that makes me feel good. I continue to enjoy being in the water at water aerobics..I just don' t like going there. I'm fine once I get in the pool..it's the getting there that sucks for me.

One thing that has been most entertaining for me has been this season's American Idol. I wasn't impressed with the guys last night save the last performance. I'm interested to see what the girls pull out this evening. Betterhalf and I got sucked into watching The Biggest Loser last night and all I can say is this: If I were on that show, it would fuck with me on such an emotional and mental level that it would take years and years of therapy for me to get right again. But I guess other people can handle working out for 4 hours a day...after all it is a competition.